star date 12.31.05 (said ala' kerk) new years eve 8:38 mom and dad have plans already suprise suprise! im going to spend new years alone again. big surprise there thats how it's always been and most likely always be. I have too much pride to call colby. since we haven't talked in how long our friendship now consits of a wave when he drives by(and thats not often) I called raini again almost embrassasd because I haven't phoned her in four or more months and i'll I do about it is cry and moan about how bad I feel about it. I actualy lost sleep over how guilty I feel I can hardly make friend as is and this is how I treat them when I do?? wich brings me to my other point: miranda.
this is how I repay a woman who gives me friendship? by not e-mailing her for two months after I said I would?
I still havn't got a reply from either of them go figure do I deseve one?
Im such a shit.

Im sorry girls I don't deserve you in my life anyways.




I had a work out today it was nice I actualy felt it this time and did more than two ecsericises! shwing! I now know how to work the bow flex in order to get a good work out im fact my arms feel rather flopy at the moment.