star date 12.31.05 (said ala' kerk) new years eve 8:38 mom and dad have plans already suprise suprise! im going to spend new years alone again. big surprise there thats how it's always been and most likely always be. I have too much pride to call colby. since we haven't talked in how long our friendship now consits of a wave when he drives by(and thats not often) I called raini again almost embrassasd because I haven't phoned her in four or more months and i'll I do about it is cry and moan about how bad I feel about it. I actualy lost sleep over how guilty I feel I can hardly make friend as is and this is how I treat them when I do?? wich brings me to my other point: miranda.
this is how I repay a woman who gives me friendship? by not e-mailing her for two months after I said I would?
I still havn't got a reply from either of them go figure do I deseve one?
Im such a shit.

Im sorry girls I don't deserve you in my life anyways.




I had a work out today it was nice I actualy felt it this time and did more than two ecsericises! shwing! I now know how to work the bow flex in order to get a good work out im fact my arms feel rather flopy at the moment.

I thought of you today, I often do. I miss you. I don't know if I know the real you or the show that you put on for every one to make them happy.
funny how music fits every thing in your life
I'm listening to avril's song "take me away"

I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside
All I do is hide
I wish that it would all just go away
what would you do
you do if you knew
what would you do?

All the pain
I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you.
Back to what
was never said.

Back and fourth
Inside my head
I can't handel this confusion


I'm unable come and take me away
I feel like I am all alone

All by myself I need to get around it

My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you

If I show you, I don't think you'd understand


Cause no one understands


[CHORUS]
I'm going nowhere

(on and on and)
I'm getting nowhere

(on and on and on)
Take me awayI'm going nowhere
(on and off and off and on) (and off and on)

[CHORUS]
Take me away
Take me away
break me away
Take me away

It reminds me of what you going through right now
im always there for you.

In A World Of Caterpillars, It Takes Balls To Be A Butterfly says:
hm............ you woudn't happen to be singel would you?

I am sam says:
kinda


In A World Of Caterpillars, It Takes Balls To Be A Butterfly says:
huh?

I am sam says:
but I like someone

I am sam says:
already

I am sam says:
I dont know what she wants to do with me im probobly just an honourable mention

In A World Of Caterpillars, It Takes Balls To Be A Butterfly says:
crap.

I am sam says:
I need to go soon

I am sam says:
but you should really come hang out sometimes

In A World Of Caterpillars, It Takes Balls To Be A Butterfly says: sure
I am sam says: (thumbs up sign)







AWW FUCK..

well hm....good and bad news my mom said the other day "im going to the store to get paches" so i say "guh?"not knowing that shes gong to "qwit"smokeing im not puting any hope in her. she is only going to hurt me again every time she tries to qwit she dosent! so i say F***K YOU!. she said she dont want o qwit well she might as well stop now then!
im not getting my hopes up for them just to get hurt.

i love my blog a can vent and no one knows me :D

man, a was p.m.s.'n yesterday fucking horable it didn't help that "ugly glasses" was teaching that night
she sucks. it say it nicely that is no curseing. >_< i hate her and i didnt learn any thing she cant explane anything!
she is a good dancer but a crap-ass teacher every thing about her rubs me the wrong way.
but,.......... we might get to be ushers at the show on thge 24th! wooo! i wish i wish i wish!

i got in a acadent yesterday i hit a light pole and it hit a car........
but no one is hurt so yay! i might get my lince revoked for a year but i dont realy care i'll drive next year
no bigge.

i hate that i dont know how to change the face of my blog page's sure they say u can but how?


freee the fish! the can has kept you down!
i dont wann be a chicken, i want to be a duck ,and i shake my but, qwack qwack qwack!!